Spice up your holidays: A guy’s guide to shopping for lingerie gifts
December 08, 2009
Here is an interesting article by Geoff Carter from Seattle.
Attention all fellers: As they now stand, your plans to buy a gift of frilly lingerie for your significant other are doomed to flop and fail.
You're probably looking at lingerie Web sites right now, armed only with a vague idea of your sweetheart's sizes (no, no, stop looking at your cupped hands), and an even more vague notion of what she'd actually like to wear, a notion that's inextricably rooted in the kind of lingerie you want to see in the bedroom:
Lacy, see-through, possibly evaporating.
I know all this because I'm one of you: I'm buying lingerie for my girl for the first time ever.
My need to research every purchase to within an inch of its life brought me to Jennifer Carroll, owner of Fremont lingerie boutique Bellefeur and co-author of "Underneath It All: A Girl's Guide to Buying, Wearing and Loving Lingerie."
With her help, I have been able to break down this daunting process into a handful of steps that should be familiar to any scrubby dude who's ever played a first-person shooter.
Do some reconnaissance. Take a peek inside your significant other's underwear or lingerie drawer and look up her bra size, which is a number followed by a letter.
Then look at the panty size, which should be small, medium or large.
Do not try to measure her yourself: "A man coming at you with a measuring tape is a little frightening," Carroll says. "Asking her for her sizes is completely fine."
Carroll also advises looking up your girl's clothing size (size 6, size 8 and so on), which can be used to size her up for sleepwear.
You should also attempt to discern your lover's tastes, because you're probably less certain than you think you are. "Most guys like see-through, black, jewel tones ... like the stuff they see in French movies," says Carroll. (I know that she said "French movies" instead of "dumb American pornography," but c'mon, fellas.) "Men typically like things that are on the racier side -- which is not to say 'slutty' -- and women want something that's going to make them feel hot and sexy, because for women it's very cerebral; it's all about how we're feeling.
"You should take her physical attributes into account," she continues. "Find out what she finds most attractive about herself, and exploit that. If [she's] a pear-shape, with bigger hips and booty and a really stellar upper body, buy her a bra-and-panty set so she shows off her stomach.
If she's got a tummy or has had some kids, then a baby-doll or something to cover your tummy is better. That'll show off her legs."
And whatever you do, don't guess at the size.
"The most common mistake men make is buying too small. It's rare that I have women bringing back large underwear to buy small," Carroll says. "It's more likely they'll bring back a small to exchange for a large."
Make sure you're sure. "If you're giving lingerie for the first time, it's really important that you go a little bit on the safer side, and buy something a little more mild," says Carroll. "Just buy a nice silk nightgown instead of a bra-and-panty set. You can work into the sexier, racy stuff later."
Conversely, if you're buying for a lingerie connoisseur, don't cheap out. "Buy the good stuff," Carroll says. "She knows what it is, and you don't want to insult her by buying her trashy adult-store lingerie.
Not that there's not a place for that stuff; there absolutely is. But don't buy it for someone who loves lingerie and has a collection."
The best lingerie gifts, Carroll says, are the kind that translate "from the boardroom to the bedroom" -- the kind of lingerie that could see everyday use. "If you buy her a super-awesome-sexy bra-and-panty set that she can wear under a sweater when she goes to work but can also wear on a hot date, that's great."
If you're unsure what might work in that regard, Carroll suggests you get two sets of lingerie: a classy set and a racy set. "She'll know that one's for you," she says, "and one's for her." And if you're utterly stumped, Carroll offers a Hail Mary play: "Just buy her something black and lacy," she says. "That looks good on everyone."
Step into the action unafraid. You can safely expect to pay $40 to $100 for a stylish bra, $20 to $40 for a nice pair of panties and $40 to $80 for an attractive camisole.
It may sound like a lot of money, but the good stuff looks better, is more comfortable and will get worn more often, which ultimately benefits both of you.
As for where to buy? Most guys know about Victoria's Secret, but if you care about quality and want to show her you've given this some thought, try one of the higher-quality lingerie stores in Seattle including Zovo Lingerie in University Village, Nancy Meyer Fine Lingerie Downtown, Ann Marie in Madison Park, or Carroll's accessible Fremont boutique, Bellefleur.
Many of these shops allow women to keep "wish lists" of their favourite pieces, in the proper sizes. (Ask your girl offhandedly if she's ever made a wish list somewhere -- it could save you a lot of time and effort.) If you're wholly stumped, you could go to Nordstrom, where the salespeople have answered the questions of nervous first-timers since time immemorial.
Carroll also suggests a scenario that normally spells desperation, but in lingerie shopping can be turned to an advantage: a gift certificate. You can accompany your sweetheart when she spends it, and take her to a nice lunch afterward. "You also get a nice fashion show out of it," Carroll says -- the very definition of the gift that keeps on giving.
Seriously, man, don't freak out over this. "Just know that every woman wears underwear, every day," says Jennifer Carroll. "Around the holidays, 95 percent of the people shopping for lingerie are men. And we actually get pretty excited to help them find the right thing."
 Victoria Secret Night Gown Size small 100% silk  US $.99
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 PURE SILK LONG SLEEVE NIGHT GOWN JR008Q ALL SIZES BLACK IVORY NWT US $45.99
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 PURE SILK SHORT SLEEVE NIGHT GOWN JR008L IVORY NWT US $32.99
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ButtonCategory: Sexy Lingerie
Tags: Ann Summers, Baby Doll Lingerie, Black Corsets, Body Stocking, Fantasy Lingerie, French knickers, Silk Nightgown